Recently, I posted a short social media status about how to make fat people feel more comfortable on airplanes. It was inspired by a recent experience of flying the unfriendly skies, when a bunch of people scowled at me on an airplane as I boarded.

What happened after I posted surprised me: a lot of smaller people told me that they had never considered what it would be like for plus-size people to travel.

They didn’t know that people of size need to do extra research to answer logistical questions, like “Will I fit in my airline seat?” and “Will the scuba company have a wetsuit that fits me?”

They didn’t realize that destination planning often requires us to figure out whether or not we are likely to be treated with respect or scorn due to our body sizes when we land. Some of my friends asked me if there is anything they can do to be awesome allies to plus size travelers.

Fortunately, there are several easy things straight-sized people can do to improve travel for people of size! This guide can help you be an awesome ally to plus-size travelers. (For those who travel WITH people of size,I also wrote A Guide to Traveling with Plus-Size Peeps.)

Here are the five most powerful things you can do to make traveling easier for people of size:

1Smile at fat strangers. You would not believe how often we are stared at. We are sometimes treated with astonishment when we go about daily activities like buying groceries, sightseeing, or hiking. People laugh, whisper, or just stare with mouths agape.

We are often especially treated with contempt in tight quarters. Walking down that narrow airplane aisle with the entire plane scowling and praying that they don’t have to sit next to you is the stuff of middle school nightmares. Seeing a friendly smile can let us know that not EVERYONE on the plane wishes we weren’t there.

That said, fat people don’t need to be condescended to (we’re fat, not stupid, though people tend to mistake one for the other!). Treat us the way you’d treat a nervous new co-worker – if she looks like she wants a friend, smile. If they look like they just wants people to stop staring at them, give ’em space.

As one friend pointed out, when you are constantly treated like a spectacle, being casually ignored can be a luxury Just be aware that many people of size are terrified to fly, and it limits the traveling many people of size so. Encountering fellow travelers who are cool and respectful towards plus size travelers can go a long way towards making our experience positive.

2Offer to sit with a person of size on an airplane/ transit. It’s pretty common for fellow travelers to go out of their way to let large travelers know that they hope they’re not sitting near us (RUDE, I know!)

People who are unhappy to be seated next to a fat person will sometimes express their unhappiness with sighs, eye rolls, meaningful looks at other passengers (see also: we’re fat, not dumb!), slamming the armrest down aggressively into our thighs. Sometimes they complain loudly to the airline host and ask to be reseated. (Sometimes the airline or transit service can accommodate this and sometimes it can’t.)

If you see a passenger complaining about having to sit with a person of size, or simply being rude in small but aggressive ways to the bigger person, just offer to switch seats with the complainer. Yes, this might mean that you’re a little squished, but will also mean that the person of size in your row is treated with humanity and respect.

The truth is that is is often just plain uncomfortable to fly on modern airplanes, no matter who you sit with or what size you are. If you can give up a little bit of your space or comfort to defuse fat hatred, it’s a kind and simple action you can take to make air travel less stressful or humiliating for the person of size on your plane.

It’s also worth knowing that some airlines require people of size to purchase a second seat. Sometimes they drop a small ‘reserved’ sign on the seat but often they just leave the seat empty and expect the fat person to defend it. This works okay on airlines with pre-seating, but on airlines with ‘seat yourself’ policies, it can become stressful for the person of size to keep that seat free. If you see a bigger person with an empty seat next to them that they seem to have claimed, it’s possible they paid for it, and it might not be the time to demand that they switch seats with you so you and your spouse can sit together.

3If you can improve accessibility for a person of size, do it. Many public spaces are not created with people of size in mind, and as a result, the spaces where plus-sized people can sit or fit are limited.

You know how many restaurants, bars and airports have chairs with arms? Not everyone can fit into those! They are painful for many plus-size people even if we can squeeze into them.

In airport gates and waiting rooms, most seats have arms, and that makes them too small for many people of size. Often this means larger people are left without places to sit unless we want to spend money at an airport restaurant or bar where bigger seats are available.

If you see a person of size looking for a seat, and you realize that you are sitting in one of the only seats that can accommodate them, offer to switch. You can be polite and casual about it: just say “I was thinking of switching tables, do you want to sit here?”

Similarly, if you are riding in a crowded car with a plus size person, the front seat will probably be more comfortable for them, so if you are able to sit in the back, that’s an easy way to send the message that they are welcome and they belong (even if the furniture says otherwise!)

4Stand up for fat people when they are being mocked or bullied. Fatphobia varies from country to country, and it manifests in a lot of different ways.

In Southeast Asia, little boys pointed and laughed at me and ran up to take photos of me without asking. Once, a group of grown men made loud “BOOM” sounds every time I took a step as though I was shaking the earth.

If you see another person being mocked, it is your job as a human being to step in. It’s that simple. Mind your safety, always, and be smart about how you step in. But also refuse the urge to tell yourself it’s “just words”: being treated with disgust and disrespect because of your physical characteristics can do more damage to some people than being punched would. Step in and be an ally to plus-size travelers wherever possible.

You don’t need to make a scene, you can say “Stop that!” in English in most countries in the world, and the people doing the fat-shaming will understand your disapproval.

5Address fat-shaming language or behavior when it arises amongst fellow travelers. Sometimes travelers or tour guides are unaware of their own internal biases and they say really insulting things without thinking twice. Once, I went on a tour where the guide made fat jokes or talked about how they used to be a lardass and were so relieved they’d gotten slim.

It was awkward for everyone, but it was the most awkward for me, the only plus size traveler on the trip. My tour was ruined by the guide’s clear point of view that my body was disgusting, and my humanity wasn’t worth respecting. People stole worried glances at me as I shrunk into my seat, but no one said anything to the guide, and no one asked me if I was okay. I felt embarrassed, sad and very lonely.

This type of situation can easily be defused by a thin person pulling the thoughtless talker aside and saying “Hey can you do me a favor and avoid diet talk? I wanna make sure we are respectful of all bodies.”

It’s especially powerful for a thin person to make this request, as people who use fatphobic language or mock fat people often don’t respect fat people (and these biases run so deep in many cultures that people might not even KNOW they are prejudiced against fat people!).

These people are much more likely to listen or and respect a request from a thin person than a request from the fat people they look down on. Similarly, when you are with a group of all straight-sized people and they begin speaking negatively about people of size, you can let them know that this behavior isn’t appropriate, and they might rethink their approach or their actions in the future.Even when people of size aren’t present, those behaviors reinforce the idea that fatphobic prejudice is appropriate, so it’s always important to speak up.

Bottom line: It’s easy to be an ally to plus size travelers. I hope this article empowered you with actions you can take on your next vacation!

If you have thoughts on other awesome ways to be an ally to plus sized peeps, sound off below! Comments are moderated, so be thoughtful and kind. <3